Jun 20, 2021. II Samuel 13:1-21

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AMNON VIOLATES TAMAR.  II Samuel 13:1-21.  06/20/21.  #27.

2 Samuel 13:1-21 [New King James Version]

1 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ” 6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.” 7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. 11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” 12 But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! 13 And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. 15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!” 16 So she said to him, “No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. 17 Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.” 18 Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her. 19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. 20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry.

  1. Amnon pines after Tamar
    1. Tamar, David’s daughter, is very beautiful
      1.  Her half-brother lusts after her and is obsessed
      1.  Amnon mopes and won’t eat (consumed by passion)
    1. Amnon’s cousin, Jonadab, finds out Amnon’s dilemma
      1.  Jonadab is a sneaky man
      1.  Jonadab suggests that Amnon feign sickness and then request that Tamar come to him to care for him
  2. David takes the bait
    1. David visits Amnon and hears his request
      1.  David does not discern that something is wrong
      1.  There are plenty of servants to attend to Amnon
      1.  Eating cakes is an odd remedy for a sickness
    1. David orders Tamar to go to her brother to attend to him
      1.  Tamar has no idea what Amnon has in mind
      1.  Young women are very vulnerable
        1.  They rarely notice the signs of men’s desires and manipulations
        1.  Tamar stayed naïve throughout this entire encounter
    1. Surely a brother would not dare violate his sister
    1. One of the most important services a father can do for his daughters is to teach them the ways of boys (Proverbs 30:19)
      1.  There are warning signs that require awareness
      1.  A girl needs to be aware when her emotions are being manipulated (always on guard)
  3. The violation of Tamar
    1. There were many signs Tamar missed (unexpected)
      1.  How could she help when the servants could not?
      1.  How could baked cakes cure a sickness?
      1.  When Amnon dismisses all his servants so that he could be alone with Tamar was a huge warning
      1.  When Amnon wants Tamar to bring the cakes into his private bedchamber, suspicions should’ve come
      1.  After Amnon refused to eat the cakes, his intentions should have been clear to Tamar
    1. Amnon grabs Tamar to force her and she vehemently protests
      1.  Such an act would be a disgrace thing in Israel
      1.  Amnon would be known as a fool
    1. Lust knows no reason (the flesh is not a rational entity)
    1. Tamar offers an alternative, desperate to remain chaste
      1.  King David would give her to Amnon if he asked
        1.  This would be an honest approach
        1.  Girls had little say in betrothals
      1.  Tamar would submit to a marriage willingly
      1.  Tamar’s solution would violate Levitical law (Leviticus 18:9, though Abraham married his half-sister)
      1.  Marriage would be better than rape
    1. After Amnon fulfills his lust, he hates his sister
      1.  He blames her for his lust (for example – murders in Atlanta)
      1.  He double shames Tamar
      1.  Lustful acts never live up to their anticipation
    1. Amnon did not love Tamar—he simply lusted after her body
  4. David’s inadequate response
    1. David is angry, but he does nothing to deal with Amnon
    1. David’s lack of action, leads to Absalom murdering Amnon
    1. David should have been responsible to be a proper father (comes w/fathering)